


Endure

by LearaBribage



Series: the missing pages [18]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist (Live Action), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, 青鳥の虛像 Fullmetal Alchemist | Fullmetal Alchemist: Bluebird's Illusion
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, General "Everyone Kneel BC Without Me There'll Be No Royai Flirting Over The Phone Thanks" Grumman, Juliet "I Died But Even I Kissed Romeo WTF Arakawa" Capulet, Riza "IDFK" Hawkeye, Romeo "Let Them Have Their Sin" Montague, Roy "WTF is with this family match-making business?" Mustang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26302414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LearaBribage/pseuds/LearaBribage
Summary: In which we find out how General Grumman basically (threateningly?) made Roy and Riza re-consider their political strategies (read: flirting in the military line) years after Roy and Riza discussed Romeo and Juliet - contains angst set to f*ck humanity, k? ft. royai making each other blush all the damn f*cking time, wtf.Expletives needed for sanity's return.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye & Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: the missing pages [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731022
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	Endure

**Author's Note:**

> Written for roymustangfma in tumblr who asked if I could write another fic where Roy learns alchemy in Riza's house.

“Mr Mustang!” Riza exclaimed as they bumped on each other as he was passing by a bookshelf to find a book for leisure during his break time. 

The thing was he had mis-stepped as he was reaching for one at the end of the shelf when she pivoted to the same location from the corner of the room. He had not seen her right away since he was squinting his eyes to see the title of the book he was reaching for.

Given that, his hand got trapped behind her back, making them stumble towards each other. It was just their luck that he managed to hold on to the ledge above her while she held onto the collars of his shirt so that they wouldn’t hurt each other. 

Nonetheless, the result was that they looked like they were embracing, so it wouldn’t take much for anyone to misunderstand what they probably looked like.

He cleared his throat.

“My mistake,” Roy apologised, trying to ignore the way her lips had parted as she realised where her hands had been before she slowly drew it away. Given that, he drew his hand away from her back, clutching it with his other hand as he looked away from her, too afraid to meet her eyes. 

The truth was, even if he had moved away from her, he still felt the imprints of her hands on his neck – just as much as he could feel the warmth of her waist on his hands. Today was remarkably chilly given that it had just rained, but he couldn’t understand why her warmth wouldn’t seem to go away from his skin. 

Nonetheless, he gazed at her to see if she was all right when he found tears pricking her eyes. 

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” he asked as she held herself against the shelf. 

_Did I make her hit her back on the shelf too hard?_

Riza shook her head, giving him a faint smile. He furrowed his brows, realising that she looked a little pale now that he was able to look at her more carefully. 

“My back just hurts a bit since I slept wrong, I think,” she answered, her voice sounding a little strained. 

Roy wondered why it sounded like a lie, but his concern for her outweighed his doubts towards her, so he asked again, “Is there something I can do for you, Miss Hawkeye?”

“You are very kind, Mr Mustang,” Riza replied, shaking her head again. “Thank you for asking, anyway.”

Given that, he does not want to return her kindness with more questions, so he nodded and sat quietly beside her when she sat on the floor. There might be another way to help her feel lighter, at the very least. He took a journal from his pocket and found a page to show her. 

“Do you like codes? See here, there’s a game I made for myself so I can easily memorise which zodiac symbols represented these alchemical processes,” Roy said as he opened the page wider for her. 

Riza peered over the page he indicated with a bemused look until she bit her lip, holding back her laughter before she looked back at him. “Your sketches are very straightforward, Mr Mustang.” 

“Well, I don’t have the hand for it,” he scratched his head with a nervous chuckle, already expecting to be laughed at, but despite that, her restraint made him feel a little ticklish - embarrassed, but still delighted to have made her amused at least. 

Despite her light tone, though, he registered the faint weariness in her gesture when she sighed a little after she drew away from his journal. 

He wondered why that was, but before he could think on it further, she remarked, “I hope your studies are going well. It can be… di- _challenging_ , with my father.” 

Roy knew what she meant, even when she changed what she was originally going to say.

Of late, his master had been more impatient, even as they were just earlier discussing the relationship of fixation and multiplication - the processes particularly detailing the transformation and power of creating a Philosopher’s Stone in the old world. 

His master was explaining it as containing power while he interjected that it could instead be viewed as an important balance to uphold for safety. He did not understand why he had been rebuked harshly when they fundamentally said the same thing. 

It was just that he didn’t agree with the sentiment of the word “contain.” For him, “contain” meant that there was something done unjustly or probably without care. And that was really why he had argued for balance instead. It was what his mother always reminded him of whenever he made a mistake - like how something he was used to wasn’t always right, so it fell on him to change or ask help for it. Check-and-balance, so to say. 

Nonetheless, he figured that his master’s impatience had to do with his health. His master had been having fits of cough for some time now, and he once saw Riza buying medicine for her father before, so he wondered why he wasn’t healing. However, it’s not like he didn’t know the kind of man his master was, so his irate demeanour was not a surprise anymore. 

“I know what I asked, Miss Hawkeye,” he said, giving her a grin to assure her just as she did for him earlier. He pocketed his journal before continuing, “It was something I said I'd work hard for, so I can only keep at it.” 

Riza eyed him in silence for a while until she said, “It’s one thing to declare, another to endure, then, Mr Mustang?”

He gazed back at her in surprise before nodding. It was his thought as well, so it was assuring to have her see it that way. Her thoughts really carried a lot of depth.

“It’s just like,” she continued over his thoughts, “when Juliet told Romeo not to swear his love for her on the moon or anything.” 

Roy arched a brow at her, a slow smile finding its way on his lips as he regarded her fondly. “That is an interesting thought, but I do see what you mean. Do you like it, that story?” 

Riza blushed a little before nodding. “It’s a tragedy, though, so I feel quite sad about the two of them dying. They were just so young, Mr Mustang.” 

“That is true,” he answered, sighing as he leant on the shelf behind him. “Do you have some thoughts about it, though, Miss Hawkeye? I do like hearing your thoughts.” 

Her cheeks reddened further before she leaned back on the shelf as well.

“I really wanted the two of them to live, Mr Mustang,” Riza said quietly, frowning. “It made me sad that they had to die because of their family. Because of status. It made me ponder how they were essentially treated like property. It was not uncommon before, I know, but it just feels like a betrayal of sorts - one done to them by their parents.” 

The fact that this was her focus made him feel heavy as he furrowed his brows at her. 

Her voice sounded like there was more to it than she was telling him, but whatever was troubling her - it appeared like this was the only way she could broach the topic, so he thought about how he could treat her reply respectfully - so that her sentiment wouldn’t be dismissed. 

“It is as you say, Miss Hawkeye,” he agreed, grinning at her. “Because while they have the privilege and luxury of their class, they must still be ‘ruled’ by the will of their parents. Just like how Lord Capulet was forcing Juliet to marry Paris. So, I agree, because that is still slavery. Both for love and power.” 

“It’s just unfair,” Riza agreed as well, hugging her knees. “They would’ve survived too, had the plague not scared the friar’s courier from delivering the message to Romeo in Mantua. About that, though, my family originally came from Aerugo, Mr Mustang, did you know?” 

He shook his head at this news. His master does not speak to him much about anything else except for their study, and well, the occasional reprimand about his imperfect diagrams - a thing his master kept blaming on his ‘incorrect’ grasp of pens. 

“I don’t, but I did notice your voice - you have a very pretty voice,” Roy remarked until he realised what he just said when her cheeks flushed at his comment. He felt a ticklish sort of warmth because of it so he looked away, scratching his head. 

“You are very kind,” Riza said, looking away from him as she removed stray strands of her hair behind her ear. “I also li - I mean you also have a very nice voice, Mr Mustang.” 

Startled with what she meant to say before she changed her mind, he could not meet her eyes again. He fidgeted with his collar to get ahold of himself before he remembered what she just said. “What made your family move here, then, Miss Hawkeye?”

“Primarily, it was for my mother’s treatment since her physician moved here, and it was just supposed to be temporary,” Riza explained, fidgeting with the sleeves of her shirt. 

Riza closed her eyes before speaking again. “Then my mother died, and my grandfather had already been in East City since he was already an officer there, so he requested that we live near him at least. Everything was quickly done because of that.” 

He gathered Riza had more to say on the topic, though, so he posed her a question. “Is something troubling you about it, Miss Hawkeye?” 

She looked at him apprehensively. “Please don’t get mad of what I shall say, Mr Mustang.” 

“Why should I be mad for something that already happened? You needn’t worry, Miss Hawkeye.” 

His cheeks warmed a little when she leaned in closer, but he disregarded that thought as her brown eyes grew serious in the afternoon light. 

“My grandfather was already a Brigadier General, so things moved quickly for us then,” she whispered, and in this proximity, Roy almost got distracted with the way her lips moved. However, she captured his attention again when her voice carried a hint of weariness when she continued. “But he got drunk once, and he said it was because the military was interested in my father’s work. Apparently, that’s _why_ it was so quickly done.” 

Roy realised that she probably meant her father’s work on Flame Alchemy, then. They had not covered his theory yet, but his master did promise they would get there when the time was right. He wondered when that was since he had almost mastered the fundamentals. That said, he gathered that the military probably wanted to recruit his master for the State Alchemist program - something he wished his master would consider given his intellect and health, but he wanted to hear what Riza had to say of it since her father was very outspoken about his disdain for the military. 

“Did he receive an invitation to be a State Alchemist because of that?” 

“He rejected those by tossing the letters to the flames,” Riza replied, her eyes getting a little teary, so Roy leaned closer to her, hoping to give her some form of assurance because he did not want to interrupt her. She huddled closer to him in response, and whether it was a conscious decision or not was something he did not want to ponder further for now. 

Finally, she continued as she fidgeted with her sleeves. “He got in an argument with grandfather because of it, though, so I don’t see him as much anymore.” 

He felt his lids fall unconsciously before he whispered, “Do you miss your grandfather?” 

“Sometimes,” Riza replied. “Sometimes, I wish I’d see my grandfather more. Would that be so terrible, Mr Mustang?” 

_For the source of her misery to be her father,_ Roy realised with sudden terror, _it must have been breaking her heart._

His throat tightened in anger a little, but he knew he cannot act on something so personal like that, so he tightened his jaw, trying to control his tears from falling. 

“No, it’s not terrible, Miss Hawkeye, not at all,” he answered, glancing at her once he was able to keep his face impassive. “When was the last time you saw your grandfather though?” 

“Foundation day,” she said, leaning against him unintentionally. He felt a sudden tightening in his chest when she laid her head on his shoulder – it was almost as if time was suspended with the softness of her hair near his neck. 

His cheeks reddened with these thoughts, so to re-focus himself, he instead said, “It really has been a while then, Miss Hawkeye. I am really sorry to hear it. Was there an activity you did with your grandfather during the festival, then?” 

A small fond curl found its way on her lips as she answered, “Just make-believe. Grandfather would dress a little funny just to make me laugh. In the last festival, he even let me be a knight when he came as a Princess. It was all really fun.” 

Roy grinned at her. “Does that mean he was the Princess you had to save, then, Ser Hawkeye?” 

His grin widened when Riza chuckled behind her hand. “Yes, yes, he was.” 

Her laughter suddenly inspired him. “Would you like for us to have some sort of fun, then, Miss Hawkeye? Let’s play that game you did, if you like? You will be the knight again, of course!” 

Riza smiled at him before her brows furrowed. “Am I not interrupting your study, Mr Mustang?” 

He shook his head, and he was about to assure her when he heard his master call his name upstairs. His eye twitched when Riza looked at him apologetically. 

“Some other time, then, Mr Mustang,” Riza offered. “But I am really grateful you took the time to listen to me.” 

He shook his head again. “I believe I am always under your family’s care, so please think nothing of it.” 

They were about to exit the room when he suddenly remembered something. “What made you think I’d get mad at you for earlier, though, Miss Hawkeye?” 

Riza met his eyes with a frown as they paused at the door. “You told me you came from Xing, once, Mr Mustang. There’s not a lot of animosity between Amestris and Xing, but because people here don’t see a lot of people from Xing much, people can be… guarded.”

She sighed before continuing, “Or they can be suspicious without justification. I never understood why that was, and I still don’t understand it now, but I don’t think this should have been the case. Is this not something you believe?” 

A slow smile spread across his lips as he realised her concern, so he cannot help eyeing her with fondness. “Miss Hawkeye, your conscience is really singular, and I am… glad to receive your care. I really am.” 

Riza blushed. “You have always listened to whatever I had in mind, so I am grateful as well.” 

He scratched his head as they walked out of the door. “But about your question - it’s just that I take care not to let it affect me as much. Not anymore, at least. That being said, I do look forward to it, Miss Hawkeye, our play.”

“It is the same for me,” she said, and it was these words of hers that he recalled as they sat in front of General Grumman’s office, getting reprimanded for his loss against the General in chess on a Sunday. 

“The problem with your strategy, Lieutenant Colonel,” the General chided, “is that you are too forthright that I easily predicted your movements.” 

Roy scratched his head. He countered the General’s plan for a two-move win, but he just got blitzkrieg-ed in return. 

“That cannot be,” the General continued, tapping the chess piece for the King in front of him, “if you are aiming for the pinnacle. There are many talented in the military, but often fail to translate their prowess in the political front, so you _must_ have ingenuity in both. It will be hard, but this was the path you decided on, was it not?”

The General then patted the Second Lieutenant’s shoulder as he passed by behind her. “And that is why I ask you both to think of a better strategy in the political battlefront.”

“And so, to begin with,” the General eyed his granddaughter. “What is the medium of politics, Second Lieutenant?” 

Roy found her gaze directed at him as she said, “Dialogue – because it is basically how society conducts ‘equivalent exchange’.” 

He looks back on every conversation they’ve ever had before, and he couldn’t help his lips from curling. 

The General grinned at her as well. “Outstanding, you really are my granddaughter. Given that, what is the language of the military, then?”

“Codes.”

“Excellent,” General Grumman nodded, turning to him this time. “Now, Lieutenant Colonel Mustang, what is the core of the problem in politics? Why is it messy?” 

Roy pondered over the question for a moment before answering. “It is messy because it involves people, and anything with people is messy. More so in politics because the personal is also political.” 

General Grumman nodded, adjusting his glasses. “Now, considering what you said about people, what typically disturbs them? I ask this of you both.” 

Roy and Riza looked at each other for a moment while the General watched them with a smirk. 

“It would have to be one that fascinates them in secret,” he said, breaking his gaze from the Second Lieutenant just as she answered, “It typically has to do with either love or madness.” 

The General chuckled behind his hand. “Excellent. Now I leave it to you both to consider all that I have told you as I attend a military council for our annual exercises with Northern Command.”

Silence followed the General’s footsteps as the door quietly shut after his exit.

“Do you mind if I walk while I think?” he asked her to give her space as well. Riza shook her head, so he stood to ponder things over. 

Since the General gave emphasis on discourse, he probably meant for them both to look for a way to converse intelligences in the open. That meant there had to be a code for them to use, and he already told the Second Lieutenant about his use of names like an acrostic for his work. That said, what’s left was _how_ to do it while using the military line. 

He turned to her, wondering what she thought of the matter. “I have an idea - which is the acrostic method I told you once - but how about you, Lieutenant?”

“I was thinking of Morse code, except we just highlight the sound of words, not per letter,” Riza replied, leaving the desk to walk towards him. “That way, there’s not much effort on that end. It’s just constructing the message under pressure would be the matter, but that’s manageable.” 

Roy nodded, grinning at her. “Let’s mix it, then, if you like? We’d just have to agree on the signal, and I think you already have an idea for that.” 

Riza curled her lips at him. “Two taps using anything. Should be easy to remember. It just leaves us with the manner of conducting the whole of it then, Lieutenant Colonel.” 

“About that,” he said, hesitating. He had an idea, but he wasn’t sure what she’d think of it, so he looked away from her for a bit. “You mentioned that people are easily disturbed by ‘love or madness’. I might have an idea for what we can use as a diversion for that.” 

He fidgeted with his collar before meeting her eyes. “It’s… well,” he tried saying as the intensity of her brown eyes in the afternoon light made him catch his breath. 

“It’s what, Lieutenant Colonel?”

“Flirting,” he mustered as his cheeks reddened. “But only… only if it’s all right with you.” 

She was silent for a while that he feared he must have offended her greatly. 

“Of course,” she said after a while, surprising him a little before she gazed away from him. “It’s still a tactic. And it’s for the sake of protecting the future and ourselves, so it’s all right.” 

“Ah, thank you,” Roy answered, letting out a sigh of relief. “I just wanted to make sure. I didn’t want to disrespect you, is all.”

Riza shook her head. “You needn’t worry, sir. I _will_ let you know if you do.” 

Roy nodded. “Let’s have it for another time, then, if you like? We did get called here on a Sunday.” 

“He did allow us to leave earlier before the match started,” she said, following him as they left the office and proceeded towards the entrance of the HQ after logging out. 

They were already far away, about to enter an alleyway near her apartment, when he turned to her and realised something new with her. “I just noticed - your hair’s growing.” 

His eyes followed the way her hand drifted a little consciously to her hair. “Yes, I’ve been keeping it up sometimes at work because it can be bothersome at times.” 

Unconsciously, he reached out to her, touching her hair and her hand slightly. “It’s longer, much longer than before.” 

Then he found himself whispering, his voice deepening as her eyes locked onto his, “Both suit you, though.” 

He drew away from her before he could say anything else. Her flushed cheeks surely matched how red his were as they continued walking. 

“I just realised this now, but,” she said after a while, eyeing him from the side, “it took us years to have our play.” 

“Is that so?” he asked, grinning at the recollection. “If that’s the case, then you’ll surely be the knight, of course.” 

“Of course, I’ve been watching your back all these years, sir,” Riza said with a sigh, although he caught a trace of fondness in her voice. “You can be pretty useless, sometimes.” 

“Still pretty, though?” Roy joked as she gaped at him in feigned disgust. 

Roy shook with laughter at her reaction. “It’s a joke, Second Lieutenant.” 

“I’m aware, sir,” Riza answered with an impassive mask, “it’s just that your statement invited a harsher rebuke.” 

“Ah, Second Lieutenant, you can be so terrible,” he said, pouting as they neared the entrance of her apartment. 

“Do you mind it?” she asked. 

“Not at all,” he replied, turning to her with a smile as they stopped at the entrance. “It is just who you are. Why would I resent you for that?”

Riza met his eyes in silence for a while until a slow smile spread across her lips. Suddenly, she said, “ _Parting is such sweet sorrow_ —” 

“— _that I shall say good night_ ,” Roy said back as she realised who she was quoting, “ _til it be morrow_.” 

“Until tomorrow, sir,” she whispered with a faint smile amid the bustle of the crowd around them. 

“Tomorrow,” he whispered as she turned away from him, as she finally went inside, as she left warmth flooding inside his chest. 

Tomorrow was what they like to say, but for once he just wanted to say - 

_I love you, more than you’ll ever know_. 

**Author's Note:**

> It's just been hard lately, but nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed it. As always, please take care! 
> 
> That said, the following references were used for this fic: 
> 
> [Soterianyx's Analysis and Interpretation of Riza Hawkeye's Tattoo from Fullmetal Alchemist](https://soterianyx.tumblr.com/post/74925554706/soterianyxs-analysis-and-interpretation-of-riza) \- I've used this so much, really, but I can't help it because it's just so good, man! 
> 
> [Alchemical symbol](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alchemical_symbol) \- a little more depth to the classical alchemy Soterianyx explained. 
> 
> [Haven't You Heard by Marie Le Conte](https://www.waterstones.com/book/havent-you-heard/marie-le-conte/9781788701778) \- I borrowed Roy Mustang's answer to General Grumman from this book. 
> 
> [Romeo and Juliet: Entire Play](http://shakespeare.mit.edu/romeo_juliet/full.html) \- So Roy and Riza were quoting Juliet in the end. 
> 
> P. S. I know some people prefer the dubbed version of FMAB, but I really can't help liking the voices of Shinichiro Miki (Roy Mustang) and Fumiko Orikasa (Riza Hawkeye). Their versions are just subtler and stronger in a way for me - almost like, how do I put it... I relate with the dub version because I understand English better, but there's just something in Shinichiro's and Fumiko's portrayals that feel deeper and more familiar to me.


End file.
